An Introduction To Denver’s Swinging Culture and The Sex Club Lifestyle

A question in Reddit‘s subgroup r/ColoradoSwingers group was recently posted by couple:[M21/F23] Anyone have any opinions of Mon Chalet? Thinking about me and my girl going soon any thoughts! In Reddit-speak, this means “A couple, the male age 21 and female age 23” are asking for opinions on Denver’s sex club, Mon Chalet. The comments, as they tend to do on Reddit, diverged and became about Denver sex clubs in general. To which I responded with a general comment on the Denver “lifestyle” scene, and I’ve expanded it a bit here:

There’s also Denver Sanctuary, if you want to explore rope/leather/BDSM. Oddly, these types of events — which have clearly defined rules for newbies — can be less intimidating.

Mon Chalet is very 1970s sex-club-like. They’ve stopped allowing single men in without a room during the daytime too, cutting down on the “dude ranch” thing. Which is sad for me as I’m into MMMMF. So that’s a bummer, but good for couples/single women. Still, single men are are often aggressive , their rudeness is the “knock” on Mon Chalet — I’ve actually had, without asking permission, a guy try a finger up my backside in the pool, been groped from behind in the hot tub, all sorts of out-of-bounds behavior. It’s infrequent and spread over years so not the norm but it happens there. Less so now that single men aren’t allowed in with pool passes only.

Regardless, it is a great place to pre-arrange to meet a couple there and have a room to retreat to. If you leave your door ajar, it’s a signal you’re open to talking to other people with rooms. Heck, if it’s nice out, sit on your doorstep and talk to passers-by who also have rooms. This tends to be a nice way to meet couples. I’m heard from friends that single women do go (and I’ve gone by myself before, see below) but I’ve never actually seen it, so don’t expect it — the women you meet here will generally be with a male partner, and he’ll have to share, thus, you’ll have to share. The pool and hot tubs are meticulously clean, fun to swim/soak in nude, and Saturday nights are really hopping. It tends to be fairly well occupied during the week, predominately with single males renting rooms but also fun couples.

Scarlet Ranch is a really, really nice place. Sadly, as of four or five years ago, no more hot tub which is something I personally have always enjoyed at clubs. There are shower and towels downstairs to stay fresh. The showers are somewhat hard to find if you’re unfamiliar, ask the downstairs towel attendant for directions. It’s much more laid back and reserved than large “sex clubs” you read about in NYC/LA/SF. It’s more or a “I’m here to F my husband while other couples F themselves and we watch each other” exhibitionist-style club than an all-out-sex club. Some summer weekend nights it can get somewhat “hot and heavy”, as the outdoor cabanas ($100/night) are a immensely fun and a great way to meet people. The downstairs is always naughty but also tends to be pretty clique-heavy Vs. sex clubs in other major coastal cities. Worth the money if you have it to spare.

As with all clubs, if you’re a “unicorn” or “full-swap” wife, then it’s always pretty much “on”. Anywhere, anytime. Unlike most cities’ clubs, Mon Chalet and Scarlet Ranch charge single females — they’re usually free — so there’s almost never any at Mon (they always charge single women), and only occasionally at Scarlet. IMHO, Scarlet Ranch would be an overall more fun and more greatly attended by single men/couples if they let single women in without the fee. Which I believe they still do on Thursday’s “Ladies Night”, which was still dead — Scarlet Ranch is pretty vacant on weekdays. Sometimes even Friday nights aren’t highly attended. So if you want a low-key visit so see the premises, go on a Thursday and look around. If you want to dive right in, pick a Saturday in the summer.

Alternatively, what’s really nice in Denver is the gatherings of swinger couples for house parties. Hang around Scarlet Ranch as an open/swap couple, be patient and polite and you’ll eventually get invited.

Or search out groups that come and go like this one:

I think for married couples, house parties of like-minded couples are always the best. They tend to be hosted by really, really cool people in upscale homes. There’s snacks, drinks, other like-minded, low-pressure people. These tend in age towards the early-30s to mid-40s, professional “let’s have as much fun on the weekend as we can, I’ve got a stressful job (and probably kids) during the week” crowd.

One thing: The Denver swing crowd is solidly pro-bi-women, but not bi-male oriented. I’ve never seen M/M at the pool at Mon or downstairs in Scarlet. Granted, I’m on the full-swap “let’s F!” side of things and not super attentive to what others are doing in the moment. It is what it is. If you’re into gay/bi male, there’s the MadeUpClub. They have a fetlife group.

I’ve never personally been to MadeUpClub. Keep meaning to… …I do have clients I trust that have gone and said it was well-run, safe and fun.

All in all, for both men and women, the choice to actually go the first time is, by far, the scariest part. Swingers tend to be nice, chill, accepting people. Discrimination and those into misogyny/negativity just aren’t tolerated, nor is any kind of rudeness about others’ looks/body types.

AS FOR THE SINGLE MALES: Things are much harder than couples, and vastly more difficult than they are for single women. Expect to pay your dues . Both monetarily and time-wise. You’ll have to absorb the high cost of a room at Mon Chalet every time you go and the yearly membership fee at Scarlet Ranch, which is hefty for single men. Then you have to be there, be non-pushy — actually getting what you want at clubs means the behaving like a gentleman, never being aggressive about wanting your member attended to. You’ll get absolutely nowhere walking up to a couple and asking to kiss the wife, talking about your phallus, vocalizing how great you are in bed. Be mellow: chivalry counts.

So for you single guys: If you want to try and score a “hotwife” to have sex with in a semi-public place, Mon Chalet is the better choice. If you have the resources in time and money and want to get into the swinging lifestyle, Scarlet Ranch is the place to be. Go every weekend. Take an Uber, bring a bottle of whatever to leave behind the bar. Mingle, socialize, revel in the sexual freedom and wait for an invite. Then you’ll get invites outside of the club.

As an aside: Clubs aren’t openly sex-worker friendly but very “don’t ask, don’t tell” accepting. Yeah, the 70-year-old guy with a hot 20-something at a club is probably an arrangement, but have the self control to keep your opinion to yourself. Thus, you can attend with a provider who knows and trusts you. Meaning: the woman will need to trust you’ll keep nature of your relationship private. Boastful braggarts are a boor, don’t be “that” guy.

IF YOU’VE GOTTEN THIS FAR, A SEXY/TRUE STORY: As a single female, after an epically bad day, I went to Mon Chalet as a single female and met my current partner, another single female. So it does happen; although I see the irony that a woman took one of the few other available women “off the market” for single guys, we do still occasionally go to meet other couples or guys… 🙂

AT THE END OF THE DAY IT’S HARD TO GUESS WHAT TYPE OF CLUB YOU’LL ENJOY. My partner is curvy, feminine, outwardly demure and polite. But she’s a soft-spoken “domme” and really enjoys Mon Chalet. Me? I appear to men to be 5’10” of weight-lifting, arse-kicking domme into group sex, but inter-personally with my wife I’m really a never-wear-pants (as in dresses/skirts), “1950s household” kinda gal that really likes the low-key “let’s have a nice topless meal and drink” vibe of Scarlet Ranch. You just can’t tell by reading about it, you have to go try and let your own personal swinging style evolve…


A lovely couple posted a reply on Reddit: “Chatted with so many couples who think they will go for ladies night and are guaranteed a threesome. It is a bummer. But they wouldn’t be called unicorns of they were everywhere

Well said, and sadly, I agree. As an elusive “unicorn” myself, from my side it’s a bummer getting the hard press right off the bat from couples. I’m super slutty but it’s just a huge turn-off being asked for sex straight away. The assumption I’ll just sleep with one or both… ..not even an inquiry into what I’d like, who I am or why I’m even at the club that night (I could just want to have a naked drink and chat).

Another unsaid thing, as noted in your profile: “Couples (not looking for full swap) and single women only – No Single Men” As with all things sex, the availability of men will always outstrip women — even when couples are involved. So the male part of couples should never assume another couple will “full swap” or a single woman is interested. It should be an unspoken rule that the woman of the couple speaks to other women first! 🙂

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