RTFM!

A Programmer’s Term: Read The Fucking Manual

Location: DTC, Colorado.
Availability: By Appointment For Verified Clients Only

  1. I communicate for scheduling purposes ony: Please do the same. I just don’t have time to chat with everyone (or anyone, really) that contacts me.
  2. Verification: Required. If you think it’s reasonable that single women should meet anonymous men in her home, we’re just not a match. I do verify the real names of all clients, and for that I prefer LinkedIN. If you have a profile there, send me a “connect” and a day/time you’d like to meet. I verify real names in person, bring your license..
  3. Do not send me acronyms.  Literacy, chivalry and first impressions count! Address me in a legible manner using complete sentences so I understand what you mean. By following my requests in (1, 2) above, it indicates that you respect my safety and feel that my rules do apply to you. If I sense you are a person who believes the covenants of society do not apply to them, I won’t see you.
  4. When your time is up, leave on time. If your issues make you unable to be ready to leave on time, compensate me for your difficulties. One hundred roses per 20 minutes. If  you overstay long enough I miss my next appointment, pay for that appointment, with tip so I can offer a gift to the person who didn’t get to come.
  5. Never ask or hint at wanting dates/uncompensated time: I dislike people who put me in the position where I have to say no.
  6. Never ask me personal or explicit questions: I’ll block you. If you have requests, make them politely in the opening shower, obviously in person.
  7. Compensation: Is only for CO Title 12, section 12, paragraph 35.5-110 “legal alternative methods that employ contact structured to deepen a person’s awareness of movement patterns in his or her body.” Leave the fee on the table by the door upon initial arrival.
  8. Treat me as well as I treat you. Seems pretty obvious. While I have thick skin from this business, I’m not a fan of hearing statements such as “if you lost 30 pounds I’d see you every week”
  9. Mutual respect of time is required: Don’t waste it with inane messages. Don’t play fake-name games with me. If we schedule a meeting, arrive five minutes early — if you are available earlier, let me know and wait in your car for an invite in. Unless pre-arranged or an act of nature intercedes, arriving late is your loss, see #4 above.
  10. Turn your phone off or leave it in your car. I catch people trying to record, take pictures or outright film me every week. It’s irritating. I have always politely asked clients to cease, but reserve the right to tell you to leave.
  11. The polite suggestion to shower together at the beginning of our time isn’t really a suggestion.
  12. Have the self security to show up, turn your brain off and let me take care of you. It’s the point of seeing me.
  13. Trying to negotiate with me: Haggling is ugly, there’s a fee for trying.
  14. Cancellations: I’m well known for being pretty mellow about this. Be communicative, be honest. Stuff happens, it’s no big deal. That said, if you are playing games or flake at the last minute, the fee is due in full before I’ll agree to see you again.
  15. INDICATE YOU UNDERSTAND THIS IS LEGAL, AND I SPECIFICALLY OFFER NO ILLEGAL SERVICES: I’m specifically offering no illegal services: This is CO Title 12, section 12-35.5-110 legal alternative methods that employ contact structured to deepen a person’s awareness of movement patterns in his or her body. This is fee-based “legal alternative contact”, and compensated accordingly.
  16. Law Enforcement Officers: See #15 above: This is legal and you are welcome to visit, but not if you’re lying about your employment. If you lie about being law enforcement for any reason, you agree that you’ve approached me with unclean hands. Knowing I offer only legal services under 12-35.5-110, if you willfully and unreasonably commit the crime of solicitation and/or use any explicit language after agreeing not to (2,6, above) you expressly agree that all your actions are unclean, both now and in the future, and you waive governmental and qualified immunity for your crimes.

About Me

If it’s safe, I don’t have a “no” list. Other than that, this isn’t about me. It’s about you coming to a safe, relaxing place to turn your brain off and spend time with a woman that wants to touch you and help make your day better. Pretty simple.

To help you decide if you’d enjoy spending time with me I’d like to forgo the usual jargon and relay some truths about me: I’m in my mid-40s. Bright blue eyes, pretty smile, Western European Caucasian features. No tattoos or piercings other than one per ear. Certified masseuse, good at it too as evidenced by a very high repeat-client rate. Swedish and deep tissue are my specialties. For the topless modality offered here, I’ve traveled overseas to study old-world tantric principles of enlightenment through touch and intimacy.

I’m tall and strong — think weight-lifting triathlete. Fitness and the outdoors are a huge part of my life, hence the accompanying pictures. I’m somewhat of a girly-girl most of the time but I’m a sporty chick who likes to split wood by hand, chuck bales and so on. So if you like tall, strong women (and I like being a tall, strong woman!), we’ll probably get along.

Topless full-body work is still legal. As such we’ll meet at my home in a positive, open environment focused on trust and your desire to unwind and relax. I am specifically looking for zero drama, nor fake-name/job games or trouble; by communicating with me you accept that I offer no illegal services, nor DORA-licensed “massage”, only CO Title 12, section 12, paragraph 35.5-110 “legal alternative methods that employ contact structured to deepen a person’s awareness of movement patterns in his or her body.”

With the culmination of the body work my for-hire services will end, and we’ll be free to discuss any titillating events that may have arisen. You’ll find I’m an excellent conversationalist well versed and accepting of a wide variety of topics. I ask that you refrain from such discussions until that time: For now, consider the medium we’re meeting in, use your imagination now and ask later.

All people — even LEOs if you’re honest about who you are– are welcome to meet me at my home, under my real name in a positive, open environment focused on trust and your desire to unwind and relax.

*VERIFICATION REQUIRED*  Please use that form to contact me. Be truthful about who you really are when contacting me: I will never invite anonymous men into my home. I definitely want to see positive references showing you have drama-free experience, but I do not accept them as a means to meet anonymously. Real names, real people, pretty simple too.

Visitation Request

(Contact form is at the bottom of this page)
SERVICES:

Time with me is primarily based around therapeutic full-bodywork that ends feminine and sensual. Read my reviews for an idea of what that’s like.

I can be hired as an adult actress to perform with you in private sessions. Select “yes” on the “Gold Package” question below. There is a one-time fee of $150 for the first visit only to cover extra screening/2257 compliance. After that, normal rates apply.

OUTCALLS:
    1. Within 20 minutes of Greenwood Village are +100.
    2. From 21 to 60 minutes are +200.
    3. Vail, Aspen etc are +300.  All outcalls must be pre-paid in full.
DEPOSIT AMOUNTS
    • $50 for a half hour appointment, $75 per hour requested are required to book.
    • Deposit can be paid via:
    • This will apply to the total fee, and is non-refundable.
CANCELLATION FEE:
    • I’m well known for being very relaxed about life happening if you’re honest with me, so it’s generally no worries. I’d appreciate an Amazon gift card as an indication you respect the time taken chatting with you and scheduling. If you schedule again, offer to pre-pay in full and your deposit counts towards the next fee. 
    • That said, if you’re being disrespectful:
    • More than 24 hours: No worries. Deposit counts going forward.
    • Within 24 hours: Non-refundable deposit is just that. 
    • No-call, no-show (NCNS): Fee is due in full. Consider that I spent the time to converse, schedule and prepare to meet you, then waited for you to arrive – all while I could’ve scheduled with a more-chivalrous client.
    • What if I don’t pay? 
        • Failure to pay means you must pre-pay — my rate plus cancellation fee — in full at the time of scheduling.
    • What if I’m a regular?
        • Only chivalrous gentleman where we have mutual respect become regulars — meaning you already know the answer: Bring a gift or tip next time I see you.

Selected Value: 0
Please choose a "Gold Package" for: (1) PSE and/or Greek Lunch (GL). Privileged, Salacious Entertainment (PSE) is via advanced agreement only. Extra Screening required. (2) Filming shorts is included at my discretion with Gold Packages. Yes, you have to comply with Federal 2257 requirements...